A New Adventure for Myrtle and Myrle

Well I suppose after 5 years of TTC you come to a point when you ask yourself this question:  "What is is that is most important to us, being pregnant or having a child?"

We asked and answered this question recently and decided that being parents was more important than getting pregnant.  So we are now planning to foster to adopt.  Our orientation meeting is this week and we are so excited!

Five Stages of Infertility

Most of us have heard of the Five Stages of Grief, I'm sure we have all experienced this at some point in our lives.  I propose that there are Five Stage of Infertility. 

Stage 1
Denial
You take your temperature 3 times until you get the reading you want.  Perhaps you mark that you had EWCM even though it was just Watery, just so you can see those cross marks on the FF chart.  Perhaps you even fake a OPK or two?  Hmmm, we have all done it once, or twice. You read every story you can find about overcoming the odds, about having a period-like flow and finding out they were pg after and hoping that will be you.  You are certain that twinge in your belly isn't gas but a baby implanting even though you know you didn't even ovulate this month.

Stage 2
Anger, Resentment, & just plain Snarky
So you mumble tacky things about all the pregnant ladies at the grocery store under your breath, who hasn't?  You scream profanities at the television when another character on your favorite show ends up pregnant by accident.  You tell your DH that if you see one more sonogram picture on Facebook you are going to throw the laptop out the window.  Yes...we have seen you anger and embraced you wholeheartedly.

Stage 3
Bargaining
Maybe if I read all these books on fertility, and chart everyday, and take all my vitamins and read every verse in the bible about infertile women then I will get pregnant.  Perhaps if I completely ignore all my normal TTC routines I will get pregnant on 'accident'.  What if I promise to everyone who will listen that I will be content no matter what happens...then maybe I will get pregnant then? 

Stage 4
Depression
Prozac...enough said?  How many of us TTC veterans are on antidepressants?  I would say quite a few.  If you have been TTC for more than 3 years I'm sure you have considered it.  Depression hits hard when you finally make it to this stage.  Of course in my definition of the 5 Stages of Infertility I believe the die-hard TTCer will cycle through stages 1-4 many times before finally moving on to:

Stage 5
Acceptance
This may look a lot different for everyone.  It may be you give up TTC and move on to adoption, fostering, or snow babies adoption.  Perhaps it is donor egg, donor sperm, surrogacy, IUI, DIUI, IVF, or something else.  You may even decide to get a dog or a cat and just forget about children all together.  Doesn't matter when or how you get to this stage as long as you get to it on your own terms and are content.

May your TTC journey be less bumpy than mine, your BBT readings always go triphasic, your eggs be sticky, your DH's sperm be perfect, and your CM be abundant.

Insanity

Albert Einstein said this about insanity, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

I think that describes TTC perfectly and therefore I am certain I am insane.  Join me in the madness.

Mild Cramping

Above is the actual discharge notes given to me Friday following my cyst aspiration.  Seriously?  I don't know what dictionary they are getting their definition of mild from, but it certainly isn't the same one I use.

I went in to have 2 chocolate cysts aspirated and ended up having 5 aspirated from the same ovary!!! It's like a BONUS!  Hahaha, like a really nasty bonus!

It REALLY REALLY REALLY hurts. My lap didn't hurt this bad and I had stage 3 endo! 

Here's Your Sign

I just know I'm pregnant!  Want to know what my first sign was?  Chipped Fingernail Polish...yup!  I know it sounds strange, but as soon as I saw my nails all chipped like that I just KNEW it was a sign.  I mean my nails NEVER chip, EVER!  I'm sure it is a sign, like all those hormones are making my nails weird so they won't hold onto nail polish anymore.  Strange thing is, I haven't even had sex this month so it's like a total miracle!  Okay, I'm off to write this in my baby book now.  I think I will name my baby after the nail polish...China Glaze.  :)

And if you are still reading this and looking at your own nails and wondering if you could in fact be pregnant please see a professional...you need help!  LMAO!

The Facebook Fertility Conspiracy

So I think Facebook is a conspiracy.  All the fertile people got together and decided to start a social network in which they (the fertile people) could brag about their fertile exploits.  Oh, yes, it's true...a meeting was held and it was decided that as soon as you POAS and get two lines you MUST post it to facebook IMMEDIATELY.  Then shortly after you are CONTRACTUALLY obligated to upload the ultrasound pictures and use one of them as your profile picture.  Of course then you must also post status updates daily about how wonderful it is to be pregnant and how excited you are and brag about your total lack of morning sickness.

Once the sex of the child is determined it is imperative that you announce it at once, and then have lots of conversations regarding the best name for said child...or...and this is just for funsies...go ahead and announce the name of the child when you announce the sex.  Then in the next few days upload all the pictures of the stuff you bought for the nursery and the name of the preschool you enrolled them in.

Oh yes...and once they are born you MUST (no negotiating this point) upload pictures within minutes of the birth with the height, weight, birth time, etc.  Please make sure you also add that you are glowing and are so freaking happy you could burst.

Then in the years to follow please oh please blog daily about how much you love your children and what a blessing it is to be able to stay home with them full time while still being able to buy designer clothes, have a manicure/pedicure weekly, and get a boob job that you brag about often.

 Yes, Facebook is a conspiracy against the infertile.

Say Hello to my Little Cysts

Here they are...oh yeah...the two little cysts causing me all sorts of pain.  

The pink outline is the ovary, the dark spots are the chocolate cysts, and that small area around them is what is left of that ovary that can produce eggs.  Not much left.  

Stupid endometriosis! Grrrrr!